Woman Convinces Herself She Likes Wheatgrass, And Also That She's Happy


Cape Cod, MA - Jane Cadman has been consuming wheatgrass for the last year in an attempt to feel something. While the earthy drink was never a love-at-first sight relationship she claims her health is improving, as well as her level of happiness. She credits wheat grass for the spike in her well being.

Her friends, however, don't believe a word of it.

Whenever she attempts to convince them of the benefits of wheatgrass it always precedes a lengthy discussion about the guy who didn't return her call, the job she didn't get, so-and-so that treated her poorly...

...her parents not believing in her the way she wants, the fact that she'll have to move soon because she can't afford the rent anymore and the landlord is completely unforgiving, her car is broken, can she stay over for the night and can she have some of their wine?

"I'm not saying I'll never try wheatgrass," said Cadman's friend, Nancy, "but it's not going to be at Jane's insistence. She keeps trying to convince me it helps her, and in the same breath that she's happy, but she's miserable and she always will be, no matter how much of the earth she eats."

This is not the first time Cadman has incorporated a new belief system or product into her life as a thinly veiled attempt at happiness. Before wheatgrass it was reiki; before reiki it was massage; before massage it was the kabbalah; before the kabbalah it was tantric dance.

"This is different though," Cadman says. "When I was into the kabbalah that was a really low point for me and I was just another lost soul cliché who used mystical Judaism as an escape from my problems.

"Wheatgrass doesn't ask anything of me though, it simply uses my organs to breathe happiness into my body from within. Unfortunately I can't afford it anymore so now I'm stuck in a room with a hot plate and no furniture. I sit around thinking about my funeral and if anyone would care that I was dead."