Susan's Spirit Guides Could Give Two Shits About Her Future At This Point


Rye, NY - Susan Greenfeld has been seeing a psychic for the last decade to help her with making the right choices for her future, a future that hasn't changed much despite her bi-monthly visits to the psychic. Her spirit guides have thus started to lose interest.

"'She might as well just die,' said one of her guides to me at the last reading," Susan's psychic, Lori, told us. "Maybe then we could get assigned to a new human who is interested in doing something, anything."

Once upon a time Susan's guides had a vested interest in her future and they saw great things for her. They saw marriage, travel, career advancement, money, all good stuff. They tried to steer her in the right direction, but every time Susan's own free will was needed to manifest their prediction she chose to stay home with some Ben n Jerry's Cherry Garcia and watch Nick at Nite.

"The last time Susan came in for a reading," said psychic Lori, "I had to beg her guides not to leave the room. One of them said to me, 'If you have to tell her something, tell her she's going on an adventure. She'll love that, because as we all know she's not going anywhere.'"

Susan meanwhile continues to believe she is going to meet the man of her dreams, have a wildly successful career in the next few years, and possibly live in Europe where she'll take up painting. To make these predictions a reality she's been thinking a lot about it and imagining what it would be like if it came true.