NYC, NY - It's been a long election season for both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, but one unsung hero is the demon that has been invisibly attached to Donald Trump's back for the last year, influencing his every thought and action.
At approximately 2:45AM on November 9th, the demon finally exhaled and took a seat on the Hilton stage on which Trump gave his acceptance speech.
"This is the first break I've gotten in nine months," the demon told Egobaby. "This has been one of my toughest gigs. I was not expecting it to be this close. I didn't think I'd need to do much more after having Trump make fun of the handicapped reporter. After all, everyone loves a good handicap impression, but Hillary is one tough bitch.
"So I got the Klan involved, and just added every spice I could think of to this meal: racism, misogyny, xenophobia, anti-Semitism, hate, fear, violence, arrogance, narcissism, demagoguery, stupidity, ignorance, sexism, and a sprinkle of incest for an extra kick to the dick."
The demon says it's going to relax a bit now that Trump has the presidency and take a long awaited vacation in Syria. "I'm looking forward to the downtime. This election was mentally grueling. Right now I just want to not think about anything and watch thousands of people die."