Vegan Child Loses Friends Due To Carob Birthday Cake

Sheridan, WY - What should have been the happiest day of the year for seven year old Adam Pacella turned into a disaster. Pacella invited his entire second grade class to his birthday for an afternoon of games and fun, but things quickly turned sour when Pacella's mother, Irene, passed out slices of carob birthday cake to the kids.

Pacella didn't at first notice that his classmates were spitting out the cake onto their plate, but when they started throwing pieces of cake at him it was hard not to. "This cake tastes like shit," Pacella's classmate, Kyle Lawlor, said to fellow classmate Fiona Hafer.

"I'm so sorry for Kyle's language, Irene," said Lawlor's mother, Fran, "but this cake really does taste like shit." Shortly after the cake was served all the kids started asking to be taken home.

Pacella arrived to school the following Monday to learn that he was the pariah of second grade, and consequently nicknamed "Shitcake." Pacella's parents are considering homeschooling him.