Vultures Tired Of Eating Chopped Up Buddhists

Himalayas, Earth - The Tibetan Buddhist tradition of chopping up a deceased person's body and feeding it to Vultures as a way to create merit is starting to bore vultures.

"At first I was like, awesome, I love picking at human carcasses, but after awhile I'm like 'you got anything else?'" said one vulture who wished to remain anonymous. "Also, would it kill anyone to let us dig our beaks into the human stomach and pick at their organs bit by bit for hours?"

Vultures are asking that if people have to bring human meat that they bring the whole body. They want to pick and pull at the guts and the stringy innards.

Vultures have started to ask for more raccoon or possibly some yak. "I love to dip my beak into a rotting yak's carcass," said one vulture. "And open sheep stomach."

"The other day I saw a Tibetan walking up the mountain with a large sack. I said, 'Great. More human meat. I need more human like I need more Donald Trump. Meaning, I don't." Vultures have never been known for their sense of humor, but they're starting to get their point across.