I'm An Aquarius, But My Wife Is A Cancer (On Society)


Astrology provides a great blueprint for romantic compatibility, to find that intimate connection every human longs for.

That’s why I knew as soon as I met my future wife, that I (an Aquarius) had found a perfect match in her, a Cancer (astrologically, and on society at large).

My wife and I fit our astrological signs perfectly. As an Aquarius, I need to constantly express my admiration for my partner, even if my partner is the kind of person that will tear down a “school zone: 25mph” sign every now and again, or sabotage a fire hydrant so it doesn’t function correctly when necessary.

We all have our annoying quirks!

Aquarius is associated with creativity and I'm no exception. I enjoyed drawing and painting as a child, and I recently took up the guitar. Creativity isn’t limited to Aquarians though: for years, my wife has paid our utilities with the stolen identities of our elderly neighbors.

Now as we all know, our negative traits tend to be associated with our astrological sign as well. As an Aquarius, I can admittedly be a bit socially awkward at times and that can be annoying for my wife, having to bring me out of my shell at parties. For her part, she has a way of cutting heroin with household chemicals and selling it to children.

That’s a Cancer for ya. Always finding ways to save us money (while simultaneously ruining the lives of the innocent).

Truly there is no better feeling than being in an entirely compatible relationship. Tied together by the eternal stitchings of love, I will forever be able to find solace in this wretched cantankerous growth on an otherwise peaceful society.

Written by Kevin Hufe.