Gay Conversion Therapist, Rick Gopher


99% of my body and mind were converted

but my balls and penis were still homosexual.

For those that don't know, what is conversion therapy?

It's a type of counseling designed to convert a homosexual into a heterosexual.

And this works?

Like a charm, but not a tacky charm, like a really cute charm you might wear to a picnic or birthday party.

Did you go through conversion therapy?

Yes, twelve times.

Why so many times?

There were a few kinks that needed to be worked out.

Namely?

99% of my body and mind were converted but my balls and penis were still homosexual. There were incidents where my penis would enter a man's anus while my mind convulsed in horror. And there were times when another man's penis would enter my anus or mouth and my mind would again convulse in horror. In fact, my mind convulsing in horror would often send me back for more. Something about that combo, the convulsion and the sex was a deadly combo.

And now your balls and penis are both heterosexual?

My balls are hetero, my penis still has some working out.

So it doesn't sound like conversion therapy works?

It works wonders. If I hadn't gone through the therapy I would be having homosexual sex daily.

How often do you have homosexual sex now?

Every other day.

So you gained a day of heterosexuality.

And my self-respect.

Has it ever worked 100% for anyone?

Yes, the sweet handsome fellow who initially converted me is now 100% heterosexual. When we get together for anal sex in the abandoned church off Route 42 it's to kick out that nasty last 1% that just won't leave me.

It sounds like he's still homosexual too.

No, you can be heterosexual and still have anal sex with a man if you're married to a woman and you believe in Jesus Christ.

No, you can't.

Yes, you can.

No, you can't.

Yes, you can.

No, you can't.

Yes, you can. May the Lord strike your ass.

I bet you'd like that.

If he doesn't, I will.