Positivity Mentor, Happy Thompson


I'm warning you.

I will scream very loud if you keep threatening me.

How long have you been positive?

About a year now.

A year? And you're already a positivity coach? A bit soon, no?

That's a negative view of life so I can't answer your question.

Your answer seems more negative than the question.

I will not answer questions that threaten my positive outlook on life.

Who's threatening your positive outlook on life?

You are. You're treating me very poorly.

I just asked you a question. This is an interview.

I'm warning you. I will scream very loud if you keep threatening me.

Are you ok?

You need to smile more and think about what you're grateful for.

YOU need to smile more.

I'm a positivity coach. I know ALL about smiling, believe you me.

You're a tad threatening.

One day a week I scream at the top of my lungs in the mountains where no one can hear me.

So what?

I scream, "Fuck you, you motherfucking asshole pieces of shit!" is one thing I scream.

Where did you get your positivity certification?

At the Positivity School for the Blind.

Were you blind at some point?

My negativity blinded me from my own happiness. It's a metaphor.

The school is a metaphor or the name of the school?

Both.

Oh, so you didn't actually get a certificate.

Neither did you.