The Life & Death Institute

Your time is coming!

Are you ready?


Think you know how to live? Think again! You don't know the first thing about being alive. But that's OK, because we at The Institute of Life & Death do, and we want to teach you.

Most human beings float through life with death way in the backburner of their minds. At The Life & Death Institute we bring it to the forefront.

In fact we never let you forget it.

From the minute you wake up you will be reminded that life is impermanent. Our wake up alarm sounds throughout the entire campus with a deep & loud, "Wake up! It's time to die!"

Having trouble with the other people on the planet? We will show you how to get along with others with courses such as:​​

  • How to See Everyone As Your Mother

  • That person you hate? It's you.

  • Alternative Lifestyles Are Here to Stay, But You're Not

  • Forgiveness is For You, Not for Me, And I Am You​

And more!​

When you enroll we will do an extensive background check on you so we know everything that scares you. We then use this information to humiliate you publicly so you learn how to be vulnerable and humble. You might find yourself walking to class when your pants are suddenly pulled down in front of everyone.

These are moments of little deaths that help you deal with the big one down the line, when the pants of your life are pulled down and the penis of your soul is exposed to the universally shared consciousness. The L&D Institute is also available for company retreats and workshops. The company that knows how to die together knows how to live together. We have raised profits for companies by 50%!

Enroll now! It MIGHT be too late!

Yearly Tuition: $5000! On campus housing available for those who can tolerate other ethnicities and sexual persuasions.