The Miss Humility Contest

These women don't expect a thing from anyone!


The world's meekest women will convene in Las Vegas to compete for "The Miss Humility" award. The current Miss Humility, Spain's Sister Lopez, will be there to hand up her crown to the new victor.

You've never seen women as humble as these before! There will be contestants from humble living conditions and those from wealthy households that they shun. These are women who let you go before them in a line, who share their meals with you, who tell you not to bother cleaning up after you've eaten at their house because they'll take care of it later.

Last year, Guatemala's Gabriela Zacapa actually won first place but didn't feel like she deserved it so she gave it to Spain's Sister Lopez, who also didn't want it but enough was enough already.

The contestants will have to prove their meekness in three categories:

1. VOCAL VOLUME: The judges don't want to hear any loud voices. The contestants will be asked to read a portion of a book. While no one wants to strain to hear someone speak they neither want to hear anything too confident. The women will be judged on their meekness of tone, enunciation, and pleasantness.

2. QUANTITY OF OPINIONS: The judges hope to not hear too many strong opinions, but they do want to make sure the contestants believe they are not better than anyone else and that they deserve whatever comes to them.

3. CLOTHING: The contestants will be asked to wear one of their typical outfits. The judges will be looking for muted colors and middle of the road styles that don't accentuate their sexuality. Past contestants have been disqualified due to their sexuality being apparent despite their average clothing.

Book your travel and hotel reservations now because this event will fill up!

If you are a woman who would like to enter into the competition then you have already made your first mistake because that is very arrogant of you.

All contestants must be sponsored by a third party who believes wholeheartedly they are the most humble woman on the planet.

Price: $50! Meekness never looked so good.