Study: Those That Test Our Patience Teach Us Patience...Scientists Call Them "Assholes"

A groundbreaking new study has surfaced by neuroscientists on the effects of our patience being tested.

In the study, a group of subjects were given a questionnaire to determine their preferences, likes, dislikes, attractions, aversions, and so on.

One of the researchers who had not previously dealt with the subjects would then enter the room, pretending to also be a subject, and start saying things that were in direct conflict with the preferences and likes the subjects had marked down. The stranger would also accuse the subjects of having wronged him/her in the past, even though this was the first time any of them had ever met.

The stranger also told the subjects what was wrong with them, physically and mentally, and also what was wrong with the families of the subjects, including their children, if applicable. Then the stranger would go on to criticize the world at large, attacking subjects/people/things that are universally beloved objects, like puppies, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, and fall weather.

The subjects had been told ahead of time not to contradict this stranger or the stranger would have a fit, possibly a violent one, and would make their lives a living hell even after the experiment was over, but the stranger would also be gone within ten minutes.

Once the stranger left the room the subjects were asked to write down how they felt about the stranger. One word overwhelmingly showed up from each of the subjects to describe the stranger: 'asshole.'

It turns out, when our brain is confronted with information that directly contradicts our own preferences, and is forced to take the high road for the greater good of all, a chemical reaction ensues that sends a neural signal to the frontal lobe to call this person an "asshole." What the researchers don't yet know is how or where the word "asshole" is specifically created within the brain.

There might be a very specific region in the brain that creates labels for stimulus and phenomena, but the experiment is groundbreaking in that it suggests that calling someone an "asshole" may not be so subjective but rather an objective truth shared by all.