Uh Oh! This Man Transitioned Into A Satyr Because He Thought "Pansexual" Referenced The God, Pan


Yikes, Frank Macalino made a huge mistake in an attempt to fit into the LGBTQ+ community when he underwent surgery to be transformed into a half goat man.

Macalino thought the prefix "pan" was a reference to the "god of the wild, shepherds and flocks, nature of mountain wilds, rustic music and impromptus, and companion of the nymphs." [wikipedia] Y'know, Pan!

Now that he's a satyr he's had to make a few - what he's insisting - are minor adjustments to his lifestyle. "Though I be half man half goat, I am still the same responsible accounts manager for the staffing firm I work at as I always have been," Macalino told Egobaby. He is intent on reassuring his clients that his new satyr status will not affect his headhunting abilities.

"In fact, I have developed a stubborn resistance to the word 'no' with my new satyrical status," Macalino said, "I will butt against any rejection until I get what I want, even if I have to eat the sleeves of some unsuspecting human resources director."

Meanwhile the LGBTQ+ crowd has embraced Macalino wholeheartedly. A GLAAD spokesperson told Egobaby, "Macalino is exactly the type of nonbinary mammal that represents the + in LGBTQ+. He is pushing the envelope and we hope his example empowers others to make the transition into a satyr."

The organization and others who have stepped up to publicly support Macalino's cause are telling the world not to call Macalino a "half breed," which is considered derogatory. He is being called a nonbinatyr [nonbinary satyr], though Macalino simply prefers to be called "Frank."

"I was never looking to become a role model, I just wanted to fit into the pansexual community," says Macalino, "Now that I'm half goat I'm not sure I was ever pansexual, but it is what it is and frankly I've been meaning to move out of the city for awhile now."