A Spiritual Guide To Your New Mother President: Marianne Williamson



We cannot move forward as a nation without the spiritual guidance of Marianne Williamson. She will pair every American with a crystal that harvests energy to battle climate change.


Mental healthcare will be revolutionized because her first order of business will be to have us all realize that we are light beings.


Water will be purified by love, reverse osmosis, and strong industrial change. That is a kind of holy water you can't find in a church. You can only find it in the crystal cavern that Marianne was birthed from.


This is the political revolution I want to be a part of. This is the #orbgang for us all.


Marianne Williamson will combat the dark psychic forces in the 21st century.

Marianne is the only candidate willing to use love for political purposes. Her message of love resonates inside all of us, whether you agree or not. We all want to be loved and Marianne loves us. She even loves Trump. She loves us all so much that she is willing to make a blood sacrifice of all the wonkies who bring bad vibes.


She is unlike any political candidate in history, mainly because her foreign policy promotes recruitment of dolphins (which I STAND for), but she is the only candidate firmly talking about reparations and I am like, FINALLY, a white woman will solve reparations for us the way only a white woman can.


A white woman who could very well be your out-of-network therapist.


She understands the power of asserting your white privilege for societal change. She is a beacon of healing for our collective soul. So lay me down on the earth, fly me to the sky. Show me where to look, tell me what I'll find, Marianne.


Peace.


Love.


Orbs.


For us all.



Written by Alli Coleman.