Tentacly Yours



Dear Cosmic Celeste,


I just started exploring different kinds of porn. I thought I knew what I liked (brother/sister, cousin/cousin, double-fisted golden bukkake. You know, the classics), but I discovered something new. It’s a little embarrassing.


So, one night I was watching an incest video where Luke sticks it to Leia, when all of a sudden he pulls out a tentacle and starts stuffing it up her vajay! Mentally, I knew it was super weird – especially plot-wise. But I started feeling things in my lady parts that I had never felt before. It was like I was sexually awakened for the first time! And I don’t think I could ever go back.


Is this weird? And if not, do you have any good recommendations for tentacle play?


Sincerely,

Octopussy



Ahoy, Octopussy!


From one tentacle lover to another, I’m ALL about releasing the kraken!


No need to feel embarrassed about your tentacle desires – it’s more normal than you think. I personally enjoyed some good ol’ squid play in my early 20s. There’s nothing quite as satisfying as a suction-cupped animal part in your vajayjay. Am I right?


So, when it comes to tentacle play, it’s important to find a partner that is equally into it. And what’s the best source to find such a partner? Craigslist. Now, I know what you’re thinking – “But Celeste, isn’t that a bit sketchy?” To which I say, maybe. But what’s more important – satisfying your sexual desires, or getting murdered by a serial killer? Who knows!


Once you find your partner, hit up a sex store and explore your tentacle options. There’s a place called Squiddly Hump that has an AMAZING selection. And for every tentacle purchase, you can get a free hoof or talon toy too. Or, if you’re feeling extra frisky, hit up your local pet store or Chinese restaurant to get the real stuff. Hope this helped!


And remember, always lube that “sucker” up!


Keep Squidding,

Cosmic Celeste