The Great Outdoors

Dear Cosmic Celeste,

I just started dating this guy who’s really into outdoor sex. I’ve never been a very exploratory sexual person, so for once, I decided to take a risk and try it out. At first, we had sex in normal-ish places, like the beach, a park, or the dumpster outside of Red Lobster (he has a thing for the smell of dead crustaceans during missionary sex).

But lately, he’s wanted to try out more obscure places like a haunted house, a church, or the dumpster outside of Sonic.

Should I tell him to slow down, or am I being too uptight? Could you please give me some advice?



Greetings and Salutations Wanderlust!

I am excited in all the right places!

I am happy to hear your partner started you off with the basics to ease you into the outdoor sex life (especially the Red Lobster one, it’s a classic).

From my experience, the best way to open yourself up to outdoor sex is to let your partner blindfold you and take you wherever he/she/them wants you to go. I know, I know. You’re probably thinking, “But Celeste, what if I want to know where I’m going?” To which I’d say, “Too bad! You can't!”

"Too bad! You can't!" is actually one of my favorite mantras during stressful times. Once you’ve arrived at your destination, let your partner immediately start having sex with you and then remove your blindfold during the sex. Therefore, you won’t have time to look around and be reluctant or timid of the location you’re in, because you won’t have time to process where you are.

And by the time your partner cums all over you, you’ll finally realize you're either at a medieval castle, aquarium, or crematorium. And you’ll have finally conquered your fear of obscure outdoor sex! And you didn’t even have a choice!

Isn’t it great having a good sex life? I hope this helped! Try it out with your partner and see how it goes. You never know, maybe he’ll have a coupon to take you on a trip to Sonic.

Keep traveling,

Cosmic Celeste