This 800 LB Gorilla Only Eats Gourmet Vegetarian Curry Tempeh Wraps With A Mango Chutney Sauce



Igawa is an 800 lb gorilla who currently resides at the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle, Washington and is proof that you can maintain a compassionate diet in the animal kingdom.


While most gorilla diets consist of bamboo shoots, stems, and fruits, Igawa’s tastes run a bit more refined. A proud vegetarian his entire life, his deepest pleasure is sitting down after a long day with a Curry Tempeh Wrap™️. Onlookers have reported seeing a look of pure bliss on the gentle giant's face when he has his gourmet wrap in hand.


Igawa typically perches on the north wall for supper. The only thing that breaks his gaze from the sunset is the chance to dip his wrap in a tangy mango chutney sauce.


“I have never seen a Gorilla so keen on Indian-American fusion before,” said Mark Byler, a primatologist at Woodland. “We have offered Igawa a cous cous mixed green salad with apricots™️ and even a chipotle mayo reuben with vegan coleslaw™️ but Igawa keeps only wants the curry tempeh wrap™️.”


Prepared by 5-star Chef, Allison Miller, “The wrap is jammed packed with yellow rice, avocado, and chickpeas," says Miller, "The tempeh is marinated with curry, tamarind, and is slow cooked overnight. The scent fills the Gorilla enclosure with a taste of Jaipur, a city in Rajasthan where Miller has the spices on special order. Wrapped in an organic whole wheat tortilla it is served with a red pepper mango chutney sauce.”


Miller, who first gained notoriety with the vegetarian bistro, Animal Farm, sold her San Francisco establishment in 2016. “I was feeling burnt out with the restaurant business," Miller said, “One day I took my niece to Woodland and she asked me what gorillas eat. It hit me right then and there like an 800 lb gorilla had punched me in the dick. Never in my wildest dreams did I think my life as a restaurateur would land me in Primate Park.”


Miller says Igawa will soon be able to add avocado as a side. Other gorilla lunch sides include black pepper sweet potato fries, vegan mac n’ cheese, and a Daiya black bean bowl. "If Igawa wants to keep the avocado," Miller said, "he can still order a side, but it is a $3.00 upcharge."


The Woodland Park Zoo recently came under fire when Animal Rights activists claimed that Igawa’s vegetarian diet was classist. “Many gorillas around the country need enclosure repairs, medical attention, and resources to fight poaching," one anonymous source said, "It’s frustrating to see so many resources being directed towards 1% of the gorilla population."


Woodland Park denounced the criticism and simply said, “It sounds like those people are jealous because Igawa is just living his #bestlife.”


Written by Matt Struck.